What life has taught me about self-empowerment

Have you ever been in one of those lovely domestic situations where someone is being so difficult and manipulative on purpose that your eyes just glaze over and you feel like you are floating off to Cancun as the sound of that persons voice fades into the oblivion of your frustration ?. . . . . .well tonight was one of those nights for me and I thought, "Ughhh ! Not again, how can this not be my 'mess' to clean up? ".

I talked a little about this in the intro of my blog, how I feel better about my ability to navigate life and really learned my own value and to like myself, partially through a miserable situation with my new home in Wisconsin and ironically from watching my husband move like a linebacker through the social landscape. Sometimes people are just lazy or they are scared, and maybe not willing to look at their own flaws and this can cause alot of misery to sensitive and honest people who will unfortunately take all the manipulation inward and beat themselves up for being , weak, stupid, a pushover, socially inept or worst of all unloveable.

 I highly recommend a technique I learned in a book called, The Gentle art of verbal self defense by Suzette Haden Elgin. She talks about identifying and using different ways of communicating and one of them is called Computer mode( how fitting ). In my particular situation I have learned to, as one person put it   " pull back the lens " on a situation, I give myself a minute to silently say simply, " Wait just a minute".  This works really well because the person who is manipulating and driving at you is looking for an emotional breakdown from you because it makes it so easy for them to then say " See, I can't talk to you when you are like this", Crazy making , Right? . . . . . Well, . . .  not anymore.   Ms. Haden Elgin describes Computer mode as , you guessed it, emotionally flat ( on the outside anyway ) responses that give the attacked person a chance to hold thier ground while they can safely assess the true feelings and intentions of the manipulator. Some people don't realize the extent to which they manipulate.

Or as my husband would say, " Turn it back around on those jokers" He always reminded me that they were just saying cruel things to take the focus of themselves. My husband taught me through both good lessons and bad that everyone is on the same level, everyone feels insecure about certain things and if someone is judging you with particular vehemence, just make fun of them!

This a feel good picture for the evening .  . . .

JANE has entered the jungle. . . .

This is a picture of the southern field this afternoon, so stunning!

Hello to everyone, reading my first post on my first blog!

I named my blog Jane of the Jungle in light of the wildness of the times we are living in!

Women ( and men ) need to feel good about themselves and to enjoy life. Especially when times are tough and things look dark. Self esteem and self-confidence are important to enjoying life. They are also both precious treasures. The good news is that both these attributes are free. One of the best things about my experience this year is the self confidence I have developed, because of personal circumstance and the passage of time. I feel that I have been waiting to feel this way since I was a young girl, and now I feel like celebrating. I also feel like sharing this great feeling and the things I have learned with other women and hearing their experiences and personal thoughts on style, self esteem and confidence .

I want this blog to become a platform for living with style, whether it's cooking, fashion, gardening, work or anything else, let's do it in style! I can't wait to hear your thoughts.

Do you have any tips for keeping up style in a down economy?

One I have always loved is to make my own clothes and jewelry.

" Style, is loving yourself till' everyone else does too "

~Prince

I love this song from Prince's album Emancipation.

I lived in Minneapolis , MN most of my life. Recently I married and moved to the country in rural Wisconsin. I live on my husbands family farmstead and it has been an amazing learning experience. I have learned how to live off the land , how to make something from nothing, I have learned alot from animals too by living so closely with them which is something I always wanted to be able to do. Living in the country is an enchanting and seductive experience. Now when I take trips to see relatives in the cities I feel that something is missing. I actually feel like I have been separated from a friend. I think that the subtleties of pheasants squawking, deer meandering and the peaceful quiet of wind through trees and crickets chirping becomes as comforting as a mothers heartbeat to an infant

Tonight I am loving that my husband stoked up our wood furnace and the house is getting cozy, as the outdoors gets cooler. The skies have been gorgeous with those typical blue gray, heavy rain clouds and the sun peeks through and lights up the fields. I was feeling bummed about the end of summer but now I have a delicious cozy feeling.