Dreaming of Spring

It's been awhile since I posted but I need to take a break from some of the more negative aspects of promoting an online business and enjoy blogging where I am freer to be positive.

With that said, I am having a better winter here on the farm than usual. I really hated the winter in the cities with the rushed life I used to live. Always I was running in and out of my car from home to work then break to work and back several times, scarfing down food as fast as I could and my heart pounding from the pressures of retail, traffic, and thoughts of family troubles in the back of my mind.

It is much quieter here and I enjoy the work I am doing now, feeding the horses and dogs, wrangling three mischevious cats all day, keeping after the house, promoting and making my jewelry, planning for a clothing line, renovating and cooking new things.

But I am a true summer lover and I am chomping at the bit for spring( I'm impatient ). One of the thoughts that is pulling me through winter is looking forward to the garden this spring. I can pick up where I left off with seed experiments and best of all the three types of tulips that I placed in the fall. I have never tried tulips before, but I remembered at my cousin's wedding where I was one of her maids of honor, she had these gorgeous bouquets of Peony tulips. They were the most beautiful romantic looking flowers! It had been about 20 years until I saw or thought about them again. I was walking through Menards where I love to pick up bulbs( they have a huge selection in this area ) and I saw them again. I had never thought to try tulips in my garden because I always thought of them as maybe a little boring, but I have been experimenting with creating a tropical looking garden in a Zone 3/4 region, I like a challenge, and I found that bulbs which are usually semi -tropical are excellent at achieiving or faking that impression and easy as pie to pop in, and lift out when fall rolls around. I shake the dirt off and place them in the dark on trays in the basement. Seeing as tulips are actually indigenous to an area near the middle east I supppose they would look tropical with everything else I have. I find that plants that have large untoothed leaves and glossy surfaces lend that effect.

Here I am in the process of adding rock walls and you can see the nasturtium and dragon arum that are giving that paradise vibe for me.

Even my husbands dairy farmer buddies who spend most of thier time in a stinky cow barn milking and the rest of thier time wrangling powerful beef, would comment that it looked tropical and they liked how my garden looked. My husband is like a big kid so he teased one of them for being in touch with his feminine side!
But I figured I must be on the right track if everyone seemed to like it.

Well I am excitedly awaiting three types of tulips this spring, Greigii, a tall tulip with three blooms on one stalk, I chose a bright orange color, a Parrot type in bright pink with frilly edges, and last but not least, the dreamy Peony tulip I was delighted to find at Menards of all places, in a pale pink froth.

Onee-Kei, another wonderful Japanese expression of style !

I can see why Gwen Stefani is so obsessed with the Japanese fashion scene. The Japanese have a way of interpreting and reinventing things that could be considered everyday and giving them an aura of mystique. Subtlety is considered an art in Japan, socially as well as stylistically, and clearly this form of discipline has honed the skills of Japanese designers and artists to a high degree. Sometimes creativity blossoms within even rigid limitations, sometimes it can even be reinvigorated by those limits and provide a stimulus to new growth.

I recieved my latest e-mail update from Jezebel.com. I saw this great article on Onee-kei, which means "older sister " in Japanese. A lot of people have seen Harajuku style and other well covered forms of Japanese fashion , but check this link to see the cute style pages of Onee-kei.

http://jezebel.com/5419239/fun-with-fashion-onee%20kei-is-cute-not-costumey/gallery/

Rihanna ( and other young women )

I was just reading a yahoo news story, one of many about Rihanna and I have watched with interest and concern as her story has unfolded in the media's lens.

It is hard not to feel uncomfortable sometimes when reading these stories even when they are sympathetic because it is easy to feel the undercurrent of thought . People it seems, wonder why she would go back to him?, why is she talking about it in her songs?, why drag it out into the media?,and now the question I am hearing is, why would she get involved with a man like that in the first place? After all, she has talked about how her father beat her mother and how she was terrified to sleep at night ,and told herself she would never marry a man like her father.

There is a strong tendency to judge women who already have had to survive this kind of terror, our society judges these women as deserving of what they get if they go back to the men that hurt them. The mildest form of this judgement usually is expressed as a shaking of the head in dismay and a (genuine) sympathy.

I would like to add something valuable to the conversation as a woman who has lived through some domestic violence myself and come out the other side. I want to say this because in the past I have wondered myself why women go back, why they don't leave, why do they begin relationships with these types anyway?
A key to better understanding is to realize first of all that some women do not possess these answers themselves.

Women like men, are comfortable with what is familiar. One of the biggest fears any society or individual faces is the fear of the unknown. So it should follow that women would be comfortable with a man like their father, even if a woman hates her father she may still end up finding some of his masculine traits attractive when she sees them in other men( without realizing it of course ). These traits are part of the script of life for all of us whether good or bad.

Something that also rings true for me is that when you are taught or told something about yourself by a parent, male or female, that is negative you will believe it. My father and I never got along. I heard alot of negative messages from him when I was a child, not just about who I was, but specifically as a female. I hated hearing the horrible things and I didn't want to believe that about myself but because it was my father telling me these things and my mother not putting up any kind of argument for me, I thought somewhere inside that it must be true. I can't say the pain this has caused me with work relationships, school, friends and strangers. I had that bad script playing itself over and over again in my head each time I encountered an obstacle in any relationship. So I blamed every bad thing that happened on myself, I took it all in. I waited for other people to give me approval rather than believing in myself. I asked other people what to do instead of believing in my instincts. I let other people take advantage of me because no one ever stood up for me so I didn't believe that I was worth standing up for, or even worse, that I had the right to.

So it makes perfect sense to me why she would go back to Chris Brown, and why she would be attracted to him in the first place. I don't mean that I think it was healthy, not anymore than I was healthy for choosing a man for a husband that didn't respect me, but it is the fortunate few that realize in time exactly how to take the steps to breaking the pattern, or to rise above your raising. The process of learning takes time and hard work. That is true for women and men, for men are also victims of domestic violence in the sense that a young boy has his world shattered by seeing his mother brutalized by his father. He hates what he sees but what other example does he have? what other male figure? Most of us only have one human father, and it is important that the example is healthy parents who have love and self-control among many other good qualities.

Young women like Rihanna need more support, strengthening and understanding, they need also the room to make mistakes, just as we give men the room to make mistakes. They do not need our judgement. If you can change that script you can change your opinion of yourself.

The Fox is officially watching the Hen House

I happened upon an excellent blog and a great post recently. The title asked whether or not the gender gap exists in fashion.

http://www.teacup.topstitched.com.au/2009/11/the-gender-gap-does-it-exist-in-fashion/


I pounced on the opportunity to get something out in the open that has been nagging my mind for awhile, sometimes it takes the right person or set of circumstances to bring up what is in someone's heart.
The author was talking about how in the fashion industry, men have so many more of the higher paying jobs, and that fashion design has been dominated especially in recent years, primarily by gay male designers and that because those who dole out opportunities for exposure to the media and advancement in the fields of fashion, give preferential treatment to gay male designers because there is a persistent belief that gay men know better what women want from thier apparel than women designers do.

I believe that this is  propaganda that has been viciously aggrandized by male fashion designers and the mainstream has accepted it wholeheartedly, because it's easy to get people to agree on the subject of women being inferior at something.

It is unfortunate that an industry supposedly made for women ( and one that is so lucrative ) is so good at oppressing them.

I remember watching one particular episode of Project Runway  a few years back, where the contestant Wendy Pepper was torn apart by judge Michael Kors. He looked at her with what was clearly a jealous outrage in his eyes and said  " Is this supposed to be about you as a woman?!"  Well, clearly the fact that she is a woman and the fact that the clothes are going to be worn by a woman might have some value? I couldn't believe that he was that angry. I questioned then and there the real purpose of this show and the motives and intentions of Michael Kors. I at least question his ability to judge that show if he is so misogynistic and  threatened by the unique perspective that women will always be able to bring to being a women's clothing designer.

I think that the chase for prominence and market power is the excuse for this woman hating behavior to parade itself so shamelessly in all of our publications, tv shows and other media. I am tired of hearing this confidence eroding lie spouted by people in fashion, women deserve respect, not to be marginalized and silenced  yet again by the industry that is supposed to serve our whims and desires. Where is the outrage by women leaders in the fashion industry against such degradation?

Of course if you ask some gay male designers what they think, they will say that they think they are better at it, and come up with elaborate philosophies as to why,  none of which are particularly well thought out.

I hope that women out there who are struggling with their creative aspirations and endeavors will not allow this  type of thinking to chip away at thier confidence. Women need reasons to feel good about themselves and their intrinsic value. I know I certainly could have used a "shot in the arm" when I was younger and if I had not believed myself that women were not as artistically apt as men I would have started my own career with much more gusto and ambition.

I hope this link and article reach female artists to give confidence.

ANIMALS, lovely reflections of our Creators personality

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysKAVyXi0J4


This video is so sweet it made me cry. It's just one of the myriad reasons I love animals.

I was inspired to write to my cat.


ODE TO MY CAT

I jokingly refer to you as "Furchild" because you have loved me like a daughter would.
I look forward to seeing you each day when I get home,because sometimes the smallest things mean so much.
Your tiny voice reminds me that sometimes a whisper can be more powerful than a scream.
The fact that you show me love despite not being able to use words proves that actions mean more.
and being a cat makes you that much more interesting and curious of all the creatures I have had the pleasure of knowing.
The confidence of your catness reminds me that I should always strive to be myself because it's the best that I can be .
The independence of your feline nature assures me that you chose to love me of your own free will.


Okay, I know, I'm obessed with my cat, but she's so darn cute I can't help it!

VELOCIRAPTOR QUEEN-- my latest goof off with GIMP

When I was a child I was obsessed with animals and the powers they have that far surpass the abilities of humans. I wasted a lot of time in elementary school imagining that I was a dinosaur, a horse or a bird so I could fly off out the window.

My childish flights of imagination have found a better creative outlet with photo editing and seeing as Jurassic Park is one of my favorite movies I thought I would fashion myself as the fearsome velociraptor. I added the idea of the queen remembering that Michael Crichton had described in his novels the velociraptors as being a matriarchal society.

This photo looks a little creepy but it sure was fun to put all that makeup on and slick my hair back with tons of Aveda paste!!!


I used several layers, paintbrushes of various opacities and sizes and a few different filter effects.

I am wearing a ( superimposed ) necklace from my Etsy shop.

More fun with GIMP . . .

This is the new avatar I just finished tonight for my Etsy shop, I thought I would try to make things a little clearer since the avatar is small( 75 by 75) pixels.

This was done with layers, transparency and my own photography.

Also I used theatrical makeup as the basis for a good photo, because it always looks better with an excellent photograph as the foundation.